DO YOU prefer a natural, rugged man or someone with skin as smooth and hairless as a baby’s bum? If you prefer manscaping, do you think there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed, one that separates the manicured man from the modern-day Narcissus?

What do I like? In fact, over my 30ish years, I’ve, at one time or another, liked it all.

In my younger days, the thought of running my fingers through a man’s coarse chest hair made my skin prickle with goose bumps. Shoulder hair? A dirty secret shared by shamed dads across the world, so I thought. Toe hair? Hadn’t even occurred to me that hair could grow in such a place yet.

No, I preferred the pristine, glowing skin of boys my age, as yet un-ravaged by time and wiry hair follicles. Nowadays that would translate into the effeminate figures cut by girly-boys like Zac Efron, not currently my cup of tea. In fact, I have a hard time seeing how anyone likes such boys, so like eunuchs they are in my older eyes. Now I get TV crushes on, say, a furry, mustachioed Magnum PI. Or a chiseled, stubbly Jon Hamm.

For the first part of my male-aware life, girly-boys were on my radar. But, for the latter part — and the majority — of my life, it’s natural and, well, more manly men all the way. Somehow in my head the two — natural and manly — go together like boy band/hearthrob types are synonymous with the manscaped look.

Am I wrong?

In any event, my taste in men has matured right along with me — thankfully.

Granted, natural doesn’t mean dirty. There’s still some grooming involved.

I want someone who’s not slovenly. Clean, good hair cut, no dirt under the nails, brushed teeth… really the basics, with maybe a whisper of a woody cologne.

Women appreciate a bit of grooming but….

Please, no manicured beards. I don’t want to wake up next to George Michael. No guyliner or hair shellacked into place. No back, sac and crack. No faux tan. No pec implants. I don’t want to be blinded by the white sheen of your teeth. Any man who cares that much is a full-on narcissist. As bad as any of the cast members of Jersey Shore. Or The Bachelor. Or Simon Cowell. And he’s certainly going to fancy himself more than he every fancies you. And here’s the kicker. Like The Situation (and that horrible ’situation’ he’s got going on from the neck up), they might not even be good looking!

If you’re worried that your man is too manscaped, check his habits against our handy list of danger signs (if their fug of cologne isn’t enough signal enough):

How To Tell If You’re Dating A Modern-Day Narcissus

1. He gets highlights
2. He has more products in the bathroom than you
3. He compliments his reflection more than he compliments you
4. He has a lifetime membership to the tanning (spray or non-) salon
5. He has custom teeth whitening trays
6. He spends more time working out than working
7. He’s on a first name-basis with a waxer
8. He stares at himself in every reflective surface he passes
9. He gets angry when you use his products
10. He wears white year round highlight his tan

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